It Started With a Handshake
by IvoryRhapsody
Summary: Nick Amaro is a happily married man to Maria Grazie. He has a daughter who means the world to him, a new job and a place that he can call home. Most would say he's a fortunate man and Nick started to believe the same. But realization hits him when he joins the Manhattan's Special Victim's unit and meets Amanda Rollins.
1. Chapter 1

"_And do you, Nick Amaro, take Maria Grazie to be your lawfully wedded wife?"_

"_I do."_

I do. Those two words were supposed to change his life for the better, create a solid commitment, and create the meaning behind his marriage, enforcing it to help it sustain all ripples that would come sooner than later. In the beginning, it was fine. They fought over little things here and there but it was never anything drastic. They made love often, were happy to see each other every morning, went out to dinners, cozied up on the couch, everything a normal couple would do. They seemed to love each other but somewhere down the road, Nick Amaro began to feel different about his marriage. While he planned on staying committed to his wife, he did not feel the way he did during those seconds in the marriage ceremony where they said their vows and their "I do's". Something that was there then wasn't here now. He felt their relationship became stale. Every day, it was the same routine but Nick wasn't about to let his marriage fail. He was loyal and he did not want to break Maria's heart. He knew that one day it would be the way it was when they were dating. The music just fell out of tune and would soon return to the way it was before.

That day came, giving him a temporary burst of joy. Maria was pregnant and nine months later, they had a wonderful baby girl. Nick, overwhelmed and ecstatic about the new change also felt uneasy. The uneasiness came from the thought that this was basically his lock into this life and that there was no key. He was very happy to have Zara enter his life as it added new life to his marriage with Maria. Even so, after Maria gave birth to Zara, she started getting jobs overseas more often. Serving in the Armed Forces was never an easy job and when Maria came home from time to time, Nick could see how much she missed her daughter.

Her daughter. He remembered Maria referring to Zara as 'her' daughter and not 'their' daughter. The negative thoughts were creeping into his mind but he shrugged it off as it was most likely just a dialogue mistake.

But when Maria came back to New York when she could, she seemed different. Every time, Nick saw this other woman. It wasn't Maria Grazie, the woman he believed he'd spend the rest of his life with. Granted, working in Iraq would change anyone but even before this, Nick questioned his decision of marrying Maria. It's not that he didn't love her but did he love her the way he should have? And if he didn't, why didn't he get out the minute he felt something was off? He was a man who believed in divorce wholeheartedly but yet, did not have the guts to divorce his own wife. Add Zara in the mix and he could not bear to separate from his wife when his daughter depended on both of them. It seemed selfish of him. His daughter came first no matter the price.

* * *

><p>On a Sunday night, he helped prepare the dinner table as his mother worked her magic in the kitchen. Zara was watching cartoons in the living room and Maria had once again been deployed to Iraq. He prayed for her safety every day and hoped she would return home safely.<p>

He also made some changes with his own life. He decided to leave Narcotics and go on to something better.

"Nick, you're going to work at SUV?" His mother asked him when he came next to her to try the food she was making.

"SVU, ma'. Special Victims Unit," he said, taking a fork and taking a bite of the food that was already done. "SUV is a car. And that's delicious," he moaned as he chewed.

"And it's dinner! So you can wait till it's done," she said in a joking manner. She made a shooing gesture with her hands and Nick held up his hands in defeat. "Alright, alright, I'm backing away now," he laughed. His mother joined him and he gave her a kiss on her forehead before joining his daughter in the living room.

The boiling pot in the kitchen, the aroma of his mother's home cooking, the sound of his daughter's laugh and excitement when something occurred in the cartoon she was watching, and the sweet comfort of his home gave him a feeling of content.

Maybe he was overthinking.

He had everything a man would want.

He had a family, a home, a wife, a daughter, and now a new job.

His life was perfect in the eyes of everyone else so he decided to treat it the same way.

This was his life and he decided to accept it.

* * *

><p>"This is detective 2nd grade Nick Amaro," Captain Cragen said, introducing him to his new colleagues.<p>

"Wow. Second grader already, huh? Must have caught some big fish?" A young blonde woman asked. Her name was Amanda Rollins. She was the first once to walk up to him and shake his hand which he readily accepted.

"Nah, just kissed a lot of ass," Nick replied. When his hand touched hers, he felt a tingle. He wasn't sure if she felt it too but she smiled at him and he smiled back. He wasn't sure what this feeling was and he wasn't sure if he wanted to find out. Even so, he did not let it show on his face and figured it would pass. After all, Amanda Rollins was a beautiful woman. Anyone who didn't agree clearly wasn't right in their mind. Her blonde hair looked like it was scented like strawberries. Her clear and glowing skin looked fragile and as if it could easily bruise but her demeanor contradicted that. Her bright blue eyes had so much depth in them and her smile screamed radiance.

He listened to Cragen speak about who he'd be partnered with and noticed the upset look of the woman named Olivia Benson. He heard rumors but decided to wait till later to ask his temporary partner, Fin. He wanted to ask Fin more about Amanda too but figured that would be weird and would set off signals he did not want being out there. Even so, he gave her a quick glance but she didn't seem to notice.

It wasn't like he was actually interested in having a relationship with her. She was his coworker. He was merely curious. That's all it was. He wanted to know more about all his coworkers and form strong bonds with them to make the workplace ideal. He was married.

But he just wanted to know about Amanda a little more.

No harm in that, right?

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><p><strong>Please review! I know this is a boring start but it gets better.<strong>

**I feel so bad about never updating all my previous stories, some for 2-3 years, I can't even remember. But I'm thinking of putting other stories on an extended hiatus (as if they weren't already…) because I seriously don't remember where the heck I was going with them.**

**I will update my other rollaro two shot this Saturday and hopefully update one of my other stories that day as well.**

**Hope you enjoyed! Leave me feedback, it's how I grow.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for the reviews, everyone! ****noirlail8****, I also made that mistake once, calling it SUV when I first started watching and I smacked myself in the head and went "Ain't SUV a car?" And then I made sure to never say it like that again. **

**I really enjoy writing this story as it's an idea I've had for a long time that I didn't want to give up and thanks to LVSVU727, I decided to go ahead and write it**.

* * *

><p>"How's your new job, mijo?"<p>

Nick sighed heavily as he sagged against the couch. He ran his hand through his hair before answering his mother.

"It's different," he simply said.

His mother, who spent the day watching Zara, who was now sleeping comfortably in her bed, came into the living room. She had just finished the dishes and was drying her hands on a small blue towel.

"You never liked different, did you?" She said with a smile.

Nick looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean by that?"

The couch dipped a little when his mother sat down and she pulled him closer, allowing him to rest his head on her shoulder. Although a grown man now, he would always be here baby.

"You can become accustomed to change but it usually takes you a while. Longer than most really," she answered him.

Nick breathed out a chuckle before sitting up straight to get a better look at his mother. He knew he had problems accepting change and acknowledging that it was time to move on from certain situations. He just never liked to admit it. When a problem arose, he always thought he could fix it. It would work out in the end. He never gave up.

"I'll get use to it, ma'. I just need some time. It's more disturbing then I imagined."

"Hmm, I'd ask you how but I have a feeling I don't want to know what you know," she joked. He laughed a little at that. She gave him a kiss on his forehead. "Everything will be alright."

"Yeah."

"But how's your squad? Are they nice?"

Nick got up and headed in the direction of the kitchen to get a drink of water. His mother followed suit.

"They're fine. I think they're adapting too. Apparently, there was an older squad member who was there for 12 years but something happened and he's gone now so it's a big change for them." He grabbed the water bottle from the fridge and took a swig.

"I'm sure they'll warm up to you. You're a good man, thanks to me."

They both laughed until they heard Zara's voice saying "Daddy!" She came running in the kitchen in her princess pajamas and hugged her father's legs. He smiled and rubbed her head before picking her up to return her to bed.

When he got home, all the stress seemed to dissipate, thanks to Zara and his mother.

* * *

><p>"Well, he likes blondes."<p>

When Munch said this, Nick got a bad feeling. He didn't bring it up but he hoped that they would be able to catch this guy without having to bait him with a certain blonde in their team.

When someone in the neighborhood sent in a photo of a man who matched the description of the serial rapist, he thought maybe this would end well after all. But something was wrong. The suspected rapist was too calm and collected. He fit the profile to a T but didn't display the attitude of a rapist. It put him off and his gut instincts started kicking in.

When he spotted Rollins drinking coffee, he decided to grab an energizing drink from the fridge to think of a way to bring it up to her.

"If that's your guy -"

"That's my guy," she cut him off, looking at him.

"He's pretty cool. He doesn't even want a lawyer," Nick finished. He leaned back on the counter.

"Oh really? That's funny because he's already got one," she replied smartly as she watched him take a sip of his drink. Nick glanced back at her, not expecting that answer.

"Sherri West."

Did that mean this guy, in actuality, was guilty? Did they catch a break?

Something was still gnawing at his gut.

Even after the victims identified him and everyone else was convinced he had done it, Nick thought otherwise.

"I'd love to take the confession," Amanda brazenly said. Nick couldn't help but be a bit ticked off by that. She had her mind set up and there was no way she could consider the possibility that he didn't commit those rapes.

"It's him! He fits the profile to a T!"

"Do you hear yourself, Rollins?" He said to her. "Look, we need to go in there looking for reasons to exclude him, not to find him guilty."

"He is guilty! I mean, what are we waiting on?"

"How about the DNA and the fingerprint on the screwdriver? We still don't know who that belongs to."

"Ok, alright, so while we're waiting for that, why won't you let me take my shot?"

Cragen interrupted them both. "You hold on. Benson, Amaro, you take the lead."

Nick gave Amanda one last look before walking out with his partner. She was a feisty one, indeed. Nick wasn't sure how he felt about that but he knew they'd butt heads more often then he'd like.

After the suspect basically put himself in every location that the rapes took place, Nick was taken aback. They were trying to help him and he, most likely unknowingly, put himself in the position he was in. There was no way they could prove he wasn't the rapist at this point.

"He's supposed to be obsessed with blondes? He's barely even noticed you, Rollins." Nick caught himself saying. He only pointed it out because he did believe Amanda was attractive but yet, the rapist who had an obsession with blonde women hadn't even looked her way. That just added to his uneasy feeling about the whole case.

"He likes submissives. We got him, this is our guy," Amanda said out of clear annoyance. Nick picked up that she wasn't pleased with him trying to get her to look at it differently when all signs seemed to point at Gabriel Thomas. But he agreed. Amanda wasn't in any way a submissive woman.

After Gabriel tried to commit suicide and his wife explained where he was on one of the nights a rape was committed, Nick was even more convinced. This guy didn't commit these rapes but who would go out of their way to plant someone's DNA everywhere?

When Amanda walked in and knocked on the door, Nick knew what was coming.

"What's going on?" she asked, her stare directed at him. The tension was palpable but he decided to let it go. He wasn't sure if she disliked him at this point.

But then when she came to the same conclusion as him after seeing the photo of Gabriel's twin brother, Brian Smith, they shared a look and he knew there was no animosity between them.

His previous hope was crushed though when Amanda offered to be the decoy. He gladly took up the job of following her on his bike and staying connected with her in case anything went wrong. Optimistically, that wouldn't happen.

"He's been watching you for four days. All Brian's done is snap a few pictures. Maybe you aren't his type after all," Nick joked in the intercom.

"_Come on, he hasn't taken his eyes off me since I stepped into the park,"_ she answered back.

All jokes were put aside when Fin said he noticed Brian was on the move. Nick wasn't the anxious kind of person but he couldn't help but feel a bit worried when Fin mentioned that Amanda got Brian on the hook. He was on pursuit and if they weren't careful, this may not end well.

"Stay close, Rollins," he told her through the intercom as he hopped on his bike to try and keep up himself. Knowing her stubborn nature, he wasn't even sure she'd listen to him and that made him worry even more.

He stopped at a crossway. _'Damn it.' _Which way could they have gone?

Reluctantly, he guessed and picked the right. He still had no idea where Amanda nor Brian was.

"Rollins, update your location!" But all he got back was static feed.

"Shit," he mumbled, hopping back on his bike. Where could they have gone? Was she ok? Did Brian ultimately catch up with her? What was going on? Why weren't the earpieces working?

Amanda continued running. She heard what Nick said but without a doubt believed she could handle this on her own. She knew this serial rapist more than anyone. She knew what he wanted and she knew how to get to him. She didn't need Nick to ruin this for her.

But she didn't expect Brian to catch up so quickly. When he did, stopping close to her enough that it would knock her, she gasped as she landed roughly on the ground. She felt him get on top of her, searching for something in his pocket. When he pulled out the knife, she felt a small rise of panic in her chest. His eyes were filled with lust and she started getting goose bumps. Even so, she wouldn't let it render her helpless.

"Rollins!" Nick yelled into the earpiece. There was no answer but he could hear the struggle going on.

'_No, no,'_ he thought as he kept searching.

"Rollins!"

What Nick wasn't expecting was his own reaction. When he finally found Brian atop Amanda, he pulled out his weapon. Amanda was able to punch Brian and get herself out from under him but Nick saw red. He didn't think that was enough.

Before he knew it, he was throwing blows onto this guy. Who the hell did he think he was? How dare he lay his hands on a woman like that?!

"Alright, Amaro!"

Another punch. And another.

"Hey! Enough! Enough!" Amanda yelled at him, clearly upset.

When he looked at her, Amanda was surprised. He looked like he lost control. He looked furious. Outraged. But she wasn't fazed.

Thankfully, Fin was there to pull him back, effectively calming him down. When Fin took a bloodied Brian away and Nick turned his attention to Amanda.

"You ok?" He asked in pure concern but Amanda took no notice.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She answered, glancing at him, waiting for the others to give them space.

Once the others were further away from them, he addressed her, trying to explain his own actions through a few words.

"You were supposed to stay close," he said breathlessly.

The space between them closed up some as they approached each other more directly.

Amanda wasn't backing down. "I had my shot and I took it."

She stumbled on her words at first but finally got her words out. "What the hell was that? You tryna ruin this case?" She accused him. She didn't need some guy trying to save her. Who the hell

Nick looked back at her but his ferocity wasn't there. He knew where she was coming from. He used unnecessary force and that was never good. He jeopardized this whole case and he didn't understand why. The guy hadn't caused any harm to Amanda and her one punch was enough to disable him for a minute.

When she walked away, he couldn't help but feel like an asshole. Despite nearly ruining the case, he was glad she was ok. At that point, it was all her cared about.

* * *

><p>"Who would have known that he had a twin? Seriously."<p>

The squad had retreated to a bar after the case was solved. They sat at a booth big enough for four people, Olivia, Fin, Nick, and Amanda. It was near their work place and really, everyone needed to clear their heads for a minute.

Fin brought up the case and how ridiculous it was, effectively lightening up the mood. It got some laughter out of everyone, even Olivia who seemed to have lost her beautiful smile after Stabler left not too long ago.

"You guys should have listened to me from the get," Nick commented.

"You're right on that," Fin said. "Think we got ourselves a good detective here!"

"He's not bad for a new kid," Olivia said before taking a sip of her beer. Nick smiled at her and she smiled back at him through her glass.

"And what about me, huh?" Amanda said, nudging Fin on the side a bit.

"You don't even have to ask that," Fin said sweetly. Amanda slapped his arm lightly. Their exchange was comfortable, as if they both knew each other forever. They seemed to click so easily.

Nick didn't feel that way with Liv since she was still mourning the loss of Stabler. After all, they were partners for 12 years so he didn't expect Olivia to be ecstatic about getting a new partner who she'd have to show the ropes to. While she wasn't as warm and welcoming as Fin had been, she wasn't all that bad either.

"I'm turning in for the night. I'll see you guys on Monday," Olivia told them as she got up. She slid out of the booth area after collecting her purse. She gave everyone a small smile before making her departure. Once she was gone, the conversation picked up again.

"You think she'll ever warm up to me?"

Fin waved his hand in a dismissal manner. "Don't worry, man. She just misses Elliot. She'll be back to her old self sooner than later," Fin answered. "It's nothing against you."

They continued talking about various subjects ranging from sports to what's their favorite shows. It was all over the place before it turned 9:30pm and Nick decided it was time for him to leave.

"Turning in early, Nick?" Fin said.

Nick hummed a yes, gathering his coat and messenger bag. He took out his phone from his pocket and realized he got a message from his wife.

'_Hey Nick. I might be coming home soon.'_

"Everything's ok?" Amanda asked when Nick stopped to reply. He looked at her because she didn't talk much to him that night so hearing her address him was nice. He knew there were no hard feelings between them but he couldn't help but feel that she may still be upset with how he handled the situation earlier.

"Yeah, it's just my wife." '_Just my wife…'_

"She's got you on a leash?" Fin joked. He also started getting up.

"Nah, she's at base right now but she'll be coming home soon."

"And where are you going? Do you have someone keeping you on a leash?" Amanda snickered.

"Nope but if you're offering, I'll accept."

They laughed and kept poking fun at each other. The comfort level between the two was beyond what Nick had ever experienced. The jokes soon died down and Fin separated from them as he had to go the other way.

While Nick was pulling out his keys, Amanda quietly approached him and tapped him on his shoulder.

Jumping a bit, Nick was on guard but his features softened when he saw Amanda standing there, slightly shivering.

"Don't sneak up on me like that, Rollins," he said, noticing that she may have been a bit tipsy.

"My bad," she said but it didn't sound like she really meant it. He smirked a little at that and turned his attention on her.

She had something she wanted to say, he could tell, but she didn't look comfortable in telling him.

After standing there for what seemed like hours to Nick, he decided to probe her to get her talking.

"Are you ok?" She was shivering a little more. It was a cold night like a typical night in New York would be but since she didn't have a jacket, it made it worse.

"I'm f-fine," she answered softly. The foggy mist came from both of them as they spoke and breathed.

"You're clearly not."

"I didn't ask you."

"Ok, so what were you going to ask me?"

"Forget it." Amanda turned away and started walking with a fast pace. Nick caught her arm in time before she crossed the street.

"Hey! If you need a ride, you can ask me," he said. He looked at her and couldn't help but note how beautiful she was, again.

Amanda didn't protest and moved past him quickly, opening the passenger door and sliding in. Nick was taken aback a bit before moving to get into the driver's seat.

After buckling his belt and locking his doors, he asked her, "Where to?"

She told him her address. She slid down the car seat and was quite content with the warmness of Nick's car compared to the cold air outside.

It was dead silent as he drove and it felt a little awkward if he had to be honest. Periodically, he glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes. She looked like she was about to fall asleep.

"Stop starin'," she mumbled.

"I wasn't. I just thought you were sleeping," he defended himself. He felt his cheeks get a little warm. He couldn't believe she knew he was watching her.

"Hey, if you think I'm still mad at you because of what happened today, you're wrong."

That caught him by surprise. "Really?"

"Yup, just don't do it again," she quipped.

"As long as you don't do anything like that again."

"I don't need your permission to do things."

"I wasn't giving you permission."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" She sat up and looked at him. "That's it, right there." She pointed.

Nick pulled up right in front of her apartment before answering.

"I'm saying that actions like that jeopardize the whole team. What if something went wrong and he…" He stopped, turning off the car's engine. He didn't need to finish his question. She knew what he was saying.

When he looked at her, he saw something that he didn't see before. It wasn't anger, it wasn't sadness, he couldn't tell. It was a mixture of emotions and he didn't know how to explain it.

"I could have handled him. I wouldn't let something like that happen again."

What did she say? "Again?"

But she didn't answer. She thanked him quickly and got out the car. Before walking into the double doors of her apartment's lobby, she waved at him.

Once she disappeared into the building, Nick drove off, questions spinning in his head.

He didn't know what she meant but he didn't want to delve into it. He knew everyone had their own dark past and what Amanda told him was most likely the tip of the iceberg. He wasn't going to probe the information out of her but he hoped that one day she would share it with him.

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><p><strong>This was some bull. I'm so sorry. I have writer's block and it's obvious once you read this compared to the first chapter. I'm just emerging out of this long period of not writing so bear with me, babes.<strong>

**But please review! I hope you enjoyed this. I think this will be updated once a week. School keeps me busy so I don't want to take on too much at once. **

**But I really wanna start ourlimitedliability's fanfic idea soon. It's a college (or high school) AU. So keep your eyes open for that.**

**Also got a one shot for rollaro too. It's really short, 1000 words or less; an idea from the summer by ourlimitedliability too. Check them out on tumblr. They're cool. And so are all the other rollaro fans ;) **


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